Why Women Use Large Dildos: Sensuality, Preparation & Body Awareness
- Dee-Ann Louise
- May 19
- 3 min read
There were aspects of this conversation that I found difficult to fully express within the limitations of social media platforms.
So alongside this written reflection, I also recorded a deeper, more personal video version of this conversation — one that allowed me to speak more freely, honestly, and naturally.
While the blog and vlog explore many of the same themes, each contains different layers, reflections, and insights.
If you would prefer to listen rather than read, or wish to experience the emotional tone behind these words more directly, you are warmly invited to watch below. 🌹
If you’re new here, this may simply read as a blog post about a large dildo.
However, if you watched my first YouTube review discussing the Nora by Lovense, (go ahead and watch it here) you’ll already know something important about me: penetration has never been the centrepiece of pleasure for me personally.
Which naturally raises an interesting question:
Why would a woman like me own such a large toy?
Fair question.
Why Women Use Large Dildos Is Often More Nuanced Than People Realise
People tend to make assumptions whenever large toys are involved. The internet immediately pushes conversations toward shock value, fantasy, or exaggerated performance.
But the truth is often much more human than that.
For me, this particular toy became connected to body awareness, preparation, comfort, and learning how to support my nervous system rather than overwhelm it.
Years ago, I worked as an erotic masseuse and courtesan - where trust, communication, comfort, and energetic safety mattered deeply to me. I was never interested in disconnecting from my body or pretending to be someone I was not. Tenderness mattered. Presence mattered. Respect mattered.
And because of that, preparation mattered too.
I had a couple of clients who were rather well endowed regarding their girth. This presented a problem for me, as I have not ever had children and have remained reasonably tight (much to my clients' joy.)
Rather than forcing my body into uncomfortable situations, I learned the importance of gentleness, patience, and allowing the body time to soften and adapt gradually. This large dildo became part of that process — not from performance, but from awareness and care.
I purchased it many years ago at one of Vancouver’s Taboo Sex Shows, long before the online market exploded into the enormous range of products available today. Looking online now, the variety is honestly fascinating: different shapes, textures, materials, curves, aesthetics, and designs created to suit vastly different preferences and experiences.
And that, to me, is something worth acknowledging.
Human beings are incredibly diverse in what makes them feel comfortable, connected, sensual, safe, or alive within their bodies.
Why Women Use Large Dildos Can Have Nothing To Do With Fantasy
Sometimes it is curiosity.
Sometimes confidence.
Sometimes preparation.
Sometimes exploration.
Sometimes reclaiming comfort within one’s own body.
And sometimes it is simply about discovering what does and does not feel aligned personally.
One thing I appreciate deeply about having my own website is the freedom to speak openly about these topics without social media algorithms flattening every conversation into something artificial, sanitised, or censored.
Adult conversations deserve nuance.
Sensuality deserves nuance.
Bodies deserve nuance.
And honest conversations about intimacy, nervous system safety, embodiment, and pleasure should not automatically be reduced to shame or performance.
As a deeply sensual woman, I have learned to honour what feels aligned for me personally.
And I no longer apologise for that. 🌹
A Space For Real Conversations & Real Healing
Over the years, I have come to realise that many people carry shame, fear, confusion, disconnection, or silence around intimacy, sensuality, pleasure, and even their relationship with their own body.
And often, what they truly need is not judgement.
Not performance.
Not someone telling them who they should be.
But a safe, grounded space where they can finally exhale and speak honestly.
Whether through RTT® Hypnotherapy, Reiki, intuitive guidance, or simply my grounded Divine Feminine presence, I hold space for people who are ready to reconnect with themselves in a deeper and more compassionate way.
Sometimes healing begins through conversation.
Sometimes through nervous system safety.
Sometimes through being truly seen without shame.
If something within this blog resonated with you — whether emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually — you are welcome to reach out.
You do not need to perform here.
You do not need to pretend here.
You simply need to arrive as you are. 🌹
Comments